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Jane's reviews

Sins of the Father

Sins of the Father - J.L. McCoy 3.5 Stars

Book 2 in the `Sky Morrison' series carries on from where book 1 (Blood of the Son) left off, and I can see a marked improvement in the story line. Vampires are being killed which makes them all nervous. Skye's relationship with Jameson bumps up a notch and we get to meet some new characters. I cant help but think that had J.L McCoy pooled the two books into one, cutting out a lot of the useless information, it would have given a much better first impression of this series.

There was still some waffle going on, e.g.......`I took out a coffee mug, added a bag of English Breakfast tea to it, and set it on the kitchen table. I felt like having cereal for breakfast and poured myself a small bowl of Raisin Nut brand. When the kettle whistled, I filled my cup and let the bag steep as I leisurely ate.
When I was done I went upstairs, threw on some running shorts and put my hair up in a ponytail, grabbed my iPod and my armband, and got ready to take Styvi for a walk. I whistled and she bolted through the doggy door and ran up to me. I helped her into her into her harness, attached the leash, grabbed my house keys, and stepped out, making sure to relock the door behind me.'........ I am a reader with the firm belief that if a line doesn't move the story along the writer should delete it! How easy would it have been to compact those 131 words into just 11?....`I grabbed breakfast got ready and took Styvi for a walk'....... It is all these unnecessary bits of information that make a story drag, I don't need it, it bores me and it overshadows anything good that I find with a story.

I think as J.L gains experience she will get used to using less of the mundane stuff to make up word count and keep more on track with the story. I hope she takes on board some of the constructive reader feedback that I have seen, it could make her a much more readable writer. It will be interesting to see how she grows in the next few books she releases.

Copy supplied for review